THE LOUGAN CONDITION

In our quest to keep things fresh, I just asked Lo Bet to scram - ha ha, just kidding. (G.P.'ll be mad at me for making fun of the less fortunate. Less fortunate that what?) Anyways, The Lougan Condition is a new forum where extinguished members of the community are invited to debate the issues important to losers everywhere.

First up is longtime Lougan and all-around idiot South-Paw Johnson. Evidently ol' South-Paw's been in the neighbourhood for years but I only met him yesterday so go figure. Weird not knowin' who your neighbours are...

South-Paw Johnson: I'll say. I was livin' in L.A. next door to Bob Hope for two years and had no idea.

Grunter Stevenson: Really? Bob Hope?

SPJ: Yeah. He had this apartment and I was livin' in a dumpster in the alley.

GS: Cool. So South-Paw, what are some of the issues which face the regular folk of today?

SPJ: Well, I'd say the number one issue is fat chicks.

GS: I'd have to agree with you on that one.

SPJ: I don't know what they're eatin' but somebody's got to tell 'em to stop.

GS: I hear ya.

SPJ: What're they thinkin' wearin' tights all the time?

GS: Too true, too true...

SPJ: An' maybe wash their hair once in a while.

GS: Amen brother.

SPJ: An' especially don't wear them low cut jeans, I don't walk around with my beer-gut exposed so why should they?

GS: Interesting point my friend, now, would you say however, that some fat chicks are quite do-able?

SPJ: Oh for sure. Totally do-able.

GS: Okay, well thanks for comin' out bud. Next time on The Lougan Condition we'll be tackling the issue of skid marks ssooo... stick around! My name is Grunter Stevenson and my guest has been my new best friend South-Paw Johnson.

SPJ: How's it goin' eh?