the Disillusionists cont'd...

Buck turned and walked away. He had to have a grip on his emotions right now. He crumpled the ticket into his fist.

The sight of his camper in such total devastation was too much for one man to bear*. It was set there in a cage. The threat May was under made it that much more real. He went back to his car feeling powerless. Exhausted, he simply drove back to the bed and breakfast.

It would do no good. Driving all night to God know's where. He needed to sleep. He needed to be with his wife.


* Yo, Boo the Bear here... I got nothing to do with this...

Jack the Dog Barker Cannot Shut Up

Hi. It's five-thirty. A.M. Get Up! Get UP! I gotta eat. I gotta shit.

That's it.

Jack

A LOUGAN (EXTENDED) FAMILY CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

Featuring all your favorite Lougans - Lonesome Betty, Ginger P, Bernie Finklestein, Jack the Dog Barker and an extra special message from Boo the Bear! (oh and uh me... Grunter Stevenson)

* * *

The Setting: Lonesome Betty's House of Love

The Time: Christmas Eve

The Booze: Two cases of Lakeport Honey, half a Texas Mickey of Johnnie Walker Black Label, some coolers or some shit like that... And a jug of Peach-Pot Wine! ~ "Ya don't really get a hang-over. Ya just stay stoned." ~

Our family sits around the shrine of the television. Worshipping that which makes their own lives so... miserable.

Grunter enters, carrying a banana-box full of chips, pretzels, some Gatorade and a frozen turkey.

* * *

Grunter Stevenson: Holy Crap! Danny's No Frills stinks like shit...

Lonesome Betty: Really?

GS: Yeah. I mean, something obviously died in the milk cooler and it must've been Welfare Wednesday 'cuz everybody was fucked up looking and I swear somebody shit themselves.

Bernie Finklestein: That's fucked up.

GS: I'll say. It was crowded too! These idiots didn't know how to operate in a grocery store. They'd stop in the stupidest places and can't steer or nothin'

Ginger Pot: Well, give them a break. Maybe they don't get out much.

BF: Y'know. I used to live out west and my biggest regret about moving back east was no longer being able to go to the store in my pyjamas...

LB: Whad'ya mean? I go to the store in my pyjamas all the time!

BF: I was talkin' about Toronto, not Hamilton!

LB: Oh.

(pause)

GP: What's up with Jack? He doesn't look too good.

GS: He ate a shitload of candy Bet's kid had stashed under the kitchen counter...

LB: No - I stashed it there myself 'cuz I wanted him to have some when he got outta care and I din't want you two dickheads eatin' it all...

GS and BF: Oh.

(pause)

GP: What time is Paul working until?

LB: I don't fuckin' know. He can fuckin' go fuck himself for all I fuckin' care.

- AND ON IT WENT INTO THE NIGHT...

Boo the Bear says: "It's a good thing us animals can't operate firearms."

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

The Disillusionists cont'd...

Jim Williams sat back with a cup of coffee and began to read -

Statement of fact: Stevenson, Gunther Ambrose
Submitted this day: Thur Jul 10 20__ @ 1435
At: Seacombe, BC
Recording Officer: L. Merriweather NO3799

I, Gunther A Stevenson hereby verify the following statement to be, to the best of my knowledge and without malice of forethought, a true representation of factual information regarding a specific incident or incidents and are made of my own free will.

I was invited to take part in a project to make a short film by an acquaintance (May Watson) on Wed July 2 20__. I was later introduced to the Director, Mike (Wauld) and two others, Jay (Thompson) and Alexis (Menses). After having met these people and after discussing this project with them I agreed to perticipate (sic) and received a nominal fee - $100 - for doing so. The project involved filming in the woods and I helped secure a vehicle (Winnebago Camper VIN B193847462W293) owned by May (Watson) parents on Sat July 5 20__ with May in attendance. We used this vehicle with their (verbal) permission. We met with the rest of the group in this vehicle - I was not aware at this time of the presence of another vehicle near our campsite. This (other) vehicle only became known to me on Wed (9th) evening. We endured two days of filming in the woods at two locations near the location of our subsequent accident. On Wed (9th) eve. at approx. 2100 hrs a disagreement between Jay Thompson and May Wayson escalated into a physical assault as I witnessed Mr Thompson stike Ms Watson with a small portable television on the head. This was sufficient to knock her out. There was a heated verbal exchange between Mr Thompson, Ms Menses and Mr Wauld where I expressly heard the statement by Mr Thompson that "she had it coming anyway". It was thaen that I became afraid for my personal safety and tried to leave the area and was assaulted and initially prevented from doing so by the other three. I managed to ascape and hid in the woods. A short time later I returned to the campsite because I was concerned for May's (Watson) health and safety. As I tried to get back to the site I heard the camper start up and drive away. Although it was dark, I could see that the three of them (Thompson, Menses and Wauld) were still there and I surmised that (Ms Watson) had driven away.

Jim Williams took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He took another sip of coffee, put his glasses back on and continued reading -

It was then that I learned of a second vehicle and became deeply suspicious of these person's intentions. It is my belief that May (W) was not involved other than as a target for whatever reasons which are still unclear to me at this time. At one point Jay (T) was sent to retrieve this second vehicle as the other two (A.M. and M.W>) attempted to remove all evidence of our being at that location. I followed Jay (T) with the intent of gaining access to this vehicle so as to escape what I felt to be imminent danger of assault. I proceeded after him down the main road we had first driven in on and within a few minutes saw a vehicle with one headlight approaching. I hid in a ditch at the side of the road and saw the camper returning towards me and the campsite. As I passed I saw Jay (T) at the wheel I am not aware at this time of the fate of May (W) as I can only assume she had been driving the vehicle which now appeared to be in an accident. I proceeded further up the road to locate the other vehicle which although dark, was easy to locate as it was parked close to the road at the base of a hill. I broke into this vehicle and drive it away towards town. It became apparent to me that I was being persued by the occupants of the camper as I saw a vehicle with one hedlight behind me on the road. I was not aware, however, at the time who was driving the vehicle or who exactly was present in the vehicle. At one point, with this vehicle approaching with the intent, I believe, to run me off the road, I managed to position my vehicle in front of theirs and threw myself clear as they were approaching at a high rate of speed. It was at no time my intent to cause injury or death to any of the occupants of the vehicle (camper) as I was greatly concerned for my personal safety and the safety of May (W). After the accident occurred I applied artificial respiration to one victim, Alexis (M) until I was stopped physically by Mike (W). I also attended to Jay (T) who had suffered a head injury. I did not at that time see or search for May (W). It is my opinion that both myself and May (W) were in mortal danger at the hands of these individuals and that they had conspired to abduct and hold for ransom or murder myself or Mat Watson and my actions were entirely in self defence. I stayed at the location of the accident for approx. two hours while waiting for help. Mike (W) had left some time earlier - soon after the accident and I have had no contact with any of these people since.

Williams threw the pages on the table and groaned. He didn't know where to start picking it apart so he didn't even try. He gathered everything up, put it in his briefcase and headed out the door to his hotel.

The Disillusionists cont'd...

"What the hell do you mean you can't find her?" Buck stood with his wife Gracie in the reception area of the station.

Sgt Leah Merriweather invited them into her office - the small station was becoming over-crowded and she didn't want anyone within earshot of each other. She took a chair from the lunchroom and placed it alongside the one already opposite her desk, "Please have a seat... Allow me to explain."

Merriweather sat behind her desk and in the gentlest of terms, unveiled some of what she already knew. She based most of this information on what Gunther and Jim Williams had told her. Buck and Gracie were only aware of the camping scenario and were not at all aware of Mike's involvement... Or anything about a film.

"We let her use the camper occasionally of course. She's been around that unit ever since she was a kid."

Merriweather filled them in on the current state of the camper and that unfortunately, another woman in their party had been killed. May's parents were mortified. What kind of situation had their daughter got herself into? Buck let his distaste for Mike be known, "That guy... I knew he was a fuckin' loser the minute I laid eyes on him."

"So you know him?"

"No! I don;t know him." Buck slid back in the chair and tried to gather his composure. "May brought him home one time for dinner or something."

"It was your birthday." This was the first thing Gracie had said since they arrived.

"Birthday, yeah." remembered Buck, "What a joy that was..."

Gracie leaned forward, "He, this Mike fellow, was argumentative and egotistical. How many people when you invite them into your home become practically combative?"

"Combative?" asked the Sergeant, "Physically?"

"No, no..." said Buck, "Verbally."

"He's an asshole," added Gracie.

Merriweather nodded. On a yellow legal pad she scribbled a few notes. "And this other fellow, Stevenson. Gunther."

"Just met him the other day. Guess he's part of this too."

"He was present, yes." Merriweather did not go into much detail and indeed kept from them Stevenson's assertion that it was all part of some bizarre conspiracy. She wanted to get their impression of him first.

"Seemed like an okay guy."

"Very nice." nodded Grace.

"Jeez. I like to think I'm a good judge of character but..." Buck lurched forward again, " What does this have to do with my daughter still being out there!"

"Sir, we have a team coming in overnight. Unfortunately it will be dark soon. An aircraft is due to make a few passes on it's way back from fisheries duty and I can tell you in all honesty, if she's alive, we will find her."

"If?" That possibility only now hit home.

"I'm sorry," continued Merriweather, "All indications are - that she escaped. In all likelihood she feared for her safety and left the main road. It's been at least eighteen hours since we were alerted and assuming she hasn't found another way out, she's probably within a four or five square mile range. Unfortunately we cannot do anything until morning and when more people become available. Does she have much experience in the woods?"

"Just camping... I don't know."

"Hopefully she knows to stay put. You can cover a lot of ground out there without even realizing it." Merriweather gazed out the window for a brief moment. She stood up. "Let me sort out a place for you to stay. We've got a good B&B in town I can arrange at nominal cost... Have you had something to eat?"

"No. Not really."

"I'm not hungry." said Buck, crossing his arms.

Merriweather regarded them for a moment, "I'll be right back. I'll let them know you're coming."

"Thank you." said Gracie as she reached over to pry one of Buck's hands free.