Regaining consciousness was better the first time than the second. The first time I was about ten and hit the basketball net pole with my head in order not to be "it". I was the first to the pole and the last to get up. Evidently once I did get up I was walking around like nothing happened for quite a while. Once the swelling started I must have slipped back under because all's I knew was I was being carried upstairs to the nurses' office by two hot looking older girls.

I think the nurse was pretty useless as I had to loll around feeling like I was going to puke for what seemed hours until my mom showed up. I wonder what that was like for her? The next time was years later - I woke up in Jen's bed with by buddy Errol passed out on the couch. He said, "Go look in the mirror," Which I did and goddamn if my right eye wasn't swolled shut.

It has often been said that an idiot is only as smart as you want him to be... A true idiot could not even begin to formulate that thought. But if you could hold that thought even for a little while... now, wouldn't that be something? Being able to hold your thoughts in your hands. You'd have to take the nuts out of your hands first but don't worry, I don't think you'll lose 'em - more likely you won't be able to find 'em you nutless fucker.

I'm sorry, maybe that was a bit much. But it feel well within the bounds of The Lougan Creed. The Lougan Creed recognizes with full regard the right of the individual to resort to violence, nay, initiate violence for any fucking reason we like. So if that little outburst earlier somehow upset you then BAM (fist on top of head a la cartoon I saw as a kid) Out Go The Lights carrot face.

Evidentially, I had dragged my belt-buckle along the paintwork of a Porsche which had pulled out of aan alley a little too fast for my liking. Pimp gets out of the car and plants a foot in my face. I remember seeing the pavement come up at me pretty fast. Errol said I came around in the cab for a while and then pissed myself in the doorway.

Anyway, which one do you think that I prefer?