'GANS AT SEA

SPECIAL INTERVIEW WITH PRODUCER LUCILLE D'ECOUPAGE

Producer Lucille D'ecoupage talks with Lougan Watch about the exciting new serial feature 'Gans At Sea, the most hotly anticipated literary event this season...

Grunter Stevenson: Ms D'ecoupage -

Lucille D'ecoupage: Call me Lucy.

GS: How about Ginge...

LD: A-tat-ta-tat...

GS: Okay, Lu-cee. Tell us about your new, hotly anticipated oceanic extravaganza 'Gans At Sea.

LD: What would you like to know?

GS: I dunno. What's it, like, about?

LD: Well, it's an adventure story set in the early eighteen-hundreds about these well-meaning but hopelessly inept English twats who head out into the high arctic in an effort to reach India so they could continue pillaging while avoiding the French.

GS: So you hate the English as well?

LD: Hate is a pretty strong word, I'll say I'd prefer to mock them.

GS: Understood. Is there any sex in it?

LD: Well, they are a bunch of guys together for months at a time on the open ocean.

GS: Ew. Didn't they bring along any punani?

LD: We'll see...

GS: I think our readers will appreciate that.

LD: I don't know if its historically accurate.

GS: Who gives a shit, either that or have 'em bonin' a goat.

LD: It is meant to be a serious examination of the folly of early explorers.

GS: Fuck that! I thought it'd be a buncha goofballs bumpin' inta each other and yo-ho-hoin' eh?

LD: Gawd, why d'ya have ta be so negative all the time?

GS: I'm not bein' negative! I'm just trying to liven things up around here...

LD: Well why don't you just give me a chance to do something myself without trying to take over like you always do?

GS: I'm not tryin' to take over - I'm just tryin' ta help make it fuckin' interesting or else it'll be a bunch of tools sittin' around with their pinkies out -

LD: Just forget it then.

GS: What? But I... ah fuckit okay be that way.

LD: What way?

GS: You know what I mean.

LD: No I don't. What way?

GS: Never mind.

LD: No. Tell me.

etc etc...