The Disillusionists cont'd...

Mike took me aside to discuss my motivation. He explained that he had envisioned the character as a complete innocent, devoid of conceit. "You ever shake hands with someone and then get the sense that they've been beating off? Because that's what I'm getting from you."

The temptation to knock out a few teeth was strong. We argued at length and I'll have to admit that I was totally out of my element as I had never acted before and he kept throwing technical terms at me. I countered with the fact that since I was innocent of any acting technique then I should be free of any conceit as well. This made him think. I continued with, "If a wave big enough to come in here and sweep us out to sea was, you... you would be the last person to accept that it was a completely natural occurance and still blame somebody rather than admit that the only control we have is over trivialities." I'm not sure where that came from.

We argued for a while more and in the end I admitted that I found it difficult to remain innocent while I was bleeding. Mike insisted however that we start over again.

"You've just been born and come out of the sea! Why does it feel like you're looking for a trail? You don't even know what a trail is! You've got to do it the hard way... So this time, when you come up the rocks I want you to head straight for that clump of trees over there."

Jay almost pissed his pants. He couldn't believe anyone would do it but off I went out of spite. Jay had been recording the whole exchange but then lost it while doing some ambient surf sounds. We took it from the point where the Cowboy or Trucker or whatever faces his first obstacle after having entered the world. It was a wall of vegetation. Mike tried repeatedly to catch a look of fascination on my face as I plunged headlong into the great unknown. After a few hours and millions of pixels later, Mike felt he had something usable. With plenty of light left to make it up the trail, we packed up and headed back to the camp.

Returning to find the girls passed out in a cloud of drunken mosquitos, we lit a fire and started dinner without waking them. Jay, god bless 'im, was thoughtful enough to spray a cloud of insect repellent over May and Alexis. They finally woke up to the smell of fresh pacific packaged salmon steaks with garlic and lemon, grilled vegetables and wild rice. Mike uncrated a supply of Cab-Sav he insisted was quite drinkable and poured plastic mugs for each of us. For desert we were to sample some artisanal apple crumble with fresh powdered milk sauce.

"Here's to our first day of shooting!"

Everyone grunted and slugged back the wine except for May who was puking in the bushes. She did come back and gamely polish off a bottle's worth over the course of the evening. Later I tried to get in a couple of words with her. She was obviously in no mood or condition for sex. I'd had women withdraw from me fairly quickly before but never like this. I was tired dammit. Tired of endless one-nighters with lots and lots of women and was ready for a meaningful relationship. May motioned for a towel, "Gunther, what happened between us was beautiful and I will never regret it but if you keep on like this..."

I managed to maintain my composure and understood that she and Mike must have something going on.

"That is so completely... Fuck. Why can't you accept what I mean?"

I did and was willing to seal it with a kiss. May wasn't, "I'm outta here." she said and left me alone in the tiny bathroom, her wet towel draped across my face.