Bernie, who works at Tim Horton's, drops by to sort some things out...

Grunter Stevenson: Bernie, you're a three time winner of the GooberNationals, how does it feel to be such a tool?

Bernie Finklestein: Same old Gunther...

GS: Pardon me?

BF: Cut the crap buddy. I've seen you runnin' around in diapers and I can guarantee I remember it better'n you do.

GS: No doubt eh? Since it's probably the last thing you ever did.

BF: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

GS: Nuthin'. Look, I guess I haven't seen you in a while.

BF: Damn right. You don't bother to look up your old man anymore?

GS: Sshh-shit man... I thought we decided we were just buddies.

BF: We are, we are...

GS: Then why the fuck did you bring up the dad thing?

BF: Because I am, shithead.

GS: Yeah but last time we agreed just to be buddies...

BF: Yeah, I guess so... Look, I can still bend my elbow backwards.

GS: Yeah? Well check the bump on my nose.

BF: Oh yeah, yeah... Betcha it matches my left knuckle ha-ha...

GS: I miss you dad.

BF: I miss you too son.

GS: Boo-hoo-hoo...

BF: Boo-hoo-hoo...

GS: Wah-ha-ha...

BF: There, there...

GS: Snork... Beer?

BF: Shit yes.

GS: So like, sniff, what the fuck've you been up to?

BF: Ah shit... I don't know, did a stint up in Penetang... then I headed out west for a bit and then did some rigging up Fort MacMurray until the Newf's took over so I came back home to the Hammer and hooked up with this chick downtown.

GS: No way! So you take her canoe out for a paddle?

BF: Hey. Be nice.

GS: Roger. Listen, can ya spot me twenty-bucks? Shits kinda been pilin' up around here...

BF: (sigh) Here. Take forty and don't ever ask me again.

GS: Thanks man, I'll get it back to you somehow.

BF: Yeah right, if I had a dollar for everytime I heard that...

GS: You'd be rich right? Ha-ha-ha...

BF: Shit yes... If I had a dollar... No wait, I'd still be givin' ya twenty-bucks.

GS: So it's like costing you...

BF: Like, twenty-one bucks!

GS: Nineteen.

BF: Huh?

GS: It'd cost you nineteen because you'd be gettin' a dollar back.

BF: Well lookie here, Mister Smartypants.

GS: Jesus...

BF: Where's your glasses, bookworm.

GS: Take it easss... for fuck's sakes.

BF: Yeah whatever... What's this shit I hear about Lonesome Betty an' me?

GS: Oh that, ha-ha...

BF: It's upsetting my co-workers.

GS: Tough shit!

BF: Look, when those ladies get upset, you don't want to be around...

- and so it went, well into the night...