GRIPE FEST 2006

Lucille D'ecoupage and Bernie Finklestein get together at the Big Top Restaurant and complain about work for an hour-and-a-half. Here are some highlights -

Lucille D'ecoupage Oh yeah, we got this one guy calls in sick all the time and when he is there he's totally useless and just makes your day harder because he's disgruntled and generally just a fuckin' loser...

Bernie Finklestein I hear ya.

LD Gawd.

BF I've got one of the best attendance records nation-wide and do ya see me gettin' any recognition? Nope.

LD I know, it seems like the more you fuck up the more untouchable you become.

BF 'Cuz people are claimin' harrassment for just havin' to be there on time.

LD I know. It's totally fucked.

* * *

BF We had this one guy, called the ambulance not once but on two separate occasions, complaining about shortness of breath or some shit and the second time, I swear, the ambulance guy says, "I can't find anything wrong with you."

LD Seriously?

BF Yeah. So I have to ride home with him, I'm supposed to drive right? In case he has a relapse but he won't let me drive so I ride along and a supervisor has to follow us so I can get back and then the guy shows up the next day like nothing happened.

LD Holy fuck.

BF I'll say. I wouldn't even be able to show my face.

LD Oh man, we had this one loser at my last job that should've been fired after the first day but is still there years later intentionally fucking things up because he's obviously been molested as a kid or something...

BF It's like they have no idea...

LD And like you said, they just keep showing up. I mean it's so fucking obvious they should just do us all a favour and shoot themselves.

BF Careful though. They'll show up one day and take you with them.

LD Yeah...

BF I just treat 'em normally, say "Hi" and shit and then avoid them at all costs.

LD I guess so.

* * *

LD I was supposed to get like, a ten cent an hour increase two months ago and payroll still can't get it together to give me my money.

BF They asked me to bring in a note last time I called in sick. I've got the best attendance record nation-wide I said... Didn't matter.

LD What is this? Kindergarden?

* * *

BF Did you see the new bags the filling comes in? Cheap as hell.

LD I don't care if I see another donut for the rest of my life.

BF I don't know how people eat that shit.

* * *

BF What time does Gunther get back?

LD I don't know, why?

BF Just wonderin'.